It’s Valentine’s Month and the perfect time to take true stock of where we are romantically… right? Sure, we all want that amazing intimate relationship–or maybe we’re already in one–but finding and keeping love can feel very different and sometimes downright scary. How do I keep it fresh and exciting? Am I going to mess this up (like I always do??) Is he/she going to cheat on me? Am I too quiet/too loud/too out of shape? Does this dress make me look cheap??!

The real deal about our love lives has little to do with… sex…. and everything to do with how we feel about ourselves. We lead with our confidence. Passion is our fashion. But how do we get from anxious to awesome? How do we improve and move our love life like never before??

Here are 5 Fast Ways to Improve Your Love Life:

1. REAL FEEL DEAL – If you psyche yourself up and get all angsty about your relationship it’s going to show. So stop it. Quit with the negative self-talk. Embrace what’s amazing and own the issues you want to improve. There’s nothing more attractive than confidence–fake it til you make it and in no time it’s real!!

2. KEEP IT PHYSICAL – This goes for a good work out, between the sheets and beyond. When you’re in strong physical shape, your heart is pumping at peak potential– plus you just feel better all the way around. Fitness isn’t an app you can just tap and have it delivered (I wish) so maintaining lean muscle, tone and strength really matters. Moving and maximizing your exercise is key to being ready, willing, and oh so able to improve your love life now!!

3. JUST DUO-IT – There are fabulous perks to coupling and here are some great ideas for play & foreplay:

  • STROLL…beside the beach, around the park, after a romantic dinner, window shopping, getting groceries together, etc. You spark when there’s motion involved, plus it’s time together and moving.
  • HIKE & PICNIC…. nothing better than scaling a mountain together then laying out a picnic to refresh and relax… heaven.
  • SPORTS….sailing, touch-football, skiing– these activities get heart levels up while learning to work as a team. It’s bonding and building, plus it’s fun. (Note: it’s also a great reveal for those early-stage romances. For example, if your dreamboat turns into a savage bully because you didn’t tie the sail in time, game over.)
  • MATCH UPS….golf, tennis, racket sports. All super fun and should be friendly competition, plus it’s that glimpse you get of how your sweetheart behaves with others or under pressure. Again, it’s a win-win– nothing tells you sooner about a person’s character than how they handle stress or failure. Oh, and the same goes for you!


  • SOLO SPORTS….or not? Powerwalk/running, swimming, surfing– solitary-combined sports are okay but not always great for early dates. Unless you want to spend most of the time on your own, don’t duo it– these are ideal for established partners who can parallel play and catch up with each other later.

4.  FUN & FLOWERS – Romance in a rut? Endorphins in need of charging? Anything on this list leads to laughter and love– you just need to remember to have fun and make it happen:

  • movies 
  • concerts
  • dancing
  • sporting events
  • museums, art exhibits, book stores
  • festivals
  • wine tasting, restaurants
  • vacations
  • talk…. connect with your partner!!!

5. PRICELESS – We put a lot of stock (and cash) into things that aren’t nearly as important as our partners. Remember to show gratitude for your special Valentine with an abundance of the little things you do for them–coffee, flowers, special notes, tokens, gestures, etc. Invest in and value your relationship, mark your milestones, create an amazing space for each other in the home of your hearts. Remember… actively love the life you have together…. and your love life will follow!!!

START WITH YOUR HEART: Mantra is showing some kinda love this month with our February is Friends are Free!! Sign up at all three studios– Tampa, Sarasota and OC– for special schedules and events. And don’t miss our annual affirmations from the heart!! This year when you tell us “Why You Love Mantra” we’ll donate $1 to the Make-a-Wish Foundation® for every heart put on the wall in each of our studio locations. A Pilates-body and Valentiny tone… what’s not to love?!!

Britta Wilder is a writer based in San Clemente. With a background in film and journalism, she is currently working on a novel. Plus, improving her love life.

%d bloggers like this: